A Friendly Letter to My Neighbors

Dear Neighbors,

Some days, our hallway smells like rotten garbage. I have to run into my apartment to get away from the stench. Please throw your garbage out, so our hallway doesn't stink. Simply lighting incense may mask the smell for a while, but I'd rather just a stink-free hallway instead of a hemp shop hallway. Thank you.

Neighbors down the hall: your child runs with very heavy feet. Right past our door. We hear it each and every time. As a result we have resorted to yelling "FALL" every time she runs past. Because clearly, the only way she will learn not to run is by falling - because you won't tell her not to.

Neighbor who lives on the second floor: I see you exercise... well, I see you walking around our apartment complex. You like to walk. I've seen it. So tell me why you insist on taking the elevator up one flight of stairs... after you've been walking! If you're so into walking around, walk yourself up the one flight of stairs!

And a general message to all my neighbors: I can still see you walk past me even if you dart your eyes to the ground. You're still there. And I will try to make eye contact and say hi to you. You may as well just accept it.

Thanks and have a great week,

Me.