The Friendly Experiment Update

It's been about a month since I've spoken about my friendly experiment. This will be a brief update (a Carolina-Duke basketball game is screaming my name in the background.) So first, I'll list my findings so far and then finish with my experience tonight that prompted my post:

Current Findings

• People tend to say "good night" more, one on one rather than in a group of people in the elevator.
• Expanding on that - people will have conversations more often when you are one on one.
• Wearing a Steelers hat brings friendly conversations.
• People use their mail as an excuse not to make eye contact - dood, it's junk mail.
• Sometimes I don't like talking to the people in the elevator either.

The Most Recent Experience
Coming home from work tonight, I stopped in our convenience store, and then went to the elevator. An older man (could have been my father) in a suit, rushes in and slams down his briefcase (yes, briefcase.) We hit our respective floors. He's continuously mumbling and grunting fishing around in his pockets... Alright, that sounded bad - It appeared that he was searching for his keys.

It's my floor.
"Good night," I say, looking at him before I leave.

**crickets**

Yeah, he didn't say anything.
Friendly Experiment Fail

More often than not, though, people will at least grunt. One time I got a "Yeah." Read more...

The Friendly Experiment Updates

Brief Update #1

Getting into the elevator yesterday morning (sometimes I just don't like walking down four flights of stairs), there was a man in the elevator.

"Good morning," I say.

He silently turned his back towards me and stared at the floor buttons.

Granted, it was about 7:30am (yeah yeah, I was late) and he may not be a morning person. But you know what? Neither am I. A simple smile would have sufficed.

Friendly Experiment Fail.

Brief Update #2

Sunday night I had run to Target to grab some stuff. I waited for an elevator (there are three) with another gentleman. Two elevators come down at once. I hold the elevator door open for him, and he goes into the other elevator.

Would you have done the same? Or am I experiencing the area's antisocial behavior? Read more...

The Friendly Experiment

I live in a large apartment building (say, 200 units or so). Granted, this is my first time living in a building like this, but I think it's the DC metro area that makes it ok for people to ignore others that they pass on a daily basis.

A couple of weeks ago, I realized how much easier it is to be friendly to a person. Rather than divert the eyes or pretend to look elsewhere as you pass. Couple this with the fact that we've had thirteen (13!) burglaries in our building in the last couple of months. I feel like this is the perfect time to come together and start acting neighborly.

So what is the experiment? I'm going to start off small - small quarters: The elevator. No awkward conversations in the elevator. Just eye contact and a smile as they get on. Often I'm the first person off (don't fault me for taking the elevator to the fourth floor!) so, I will casually say good night/morning/have a nice day as I leave the elevator.

I've been doing this for about two weeks now. Most responses have been similar: a somewhat surprised sounding, "Good night" or whatever time of day it is. In addition, the smiles have been returned.

Up until last night.


Meet grumpy woman. The woman on the elevator was probably younger, but I like this picture anyway. I had just gotten on the elevator with my milk purchase. It's early evening, and I see her coming towards the elevator, so I hold it for her. No thanks, nothing. She hits 7, I've already hit 4. Long story short, I say good night as I excuse myself from behind her... Nothing. I guess that's why her face is in a permanent frown. Or maybe she was a Ravens fan offended by my Steelers t-shirt. Either way, if that perma-frown sticks, she'll grow up to look like that lady above. Sucks for her.

In general, the friendly experiment is going well. I just hope that it continues with other people, and the ones I say hello and goodbye to will do this to others.

Next step? Saying hello to the person that sits next to me on the shuttle. Read more...